Reflections on Loss

3:29 AM

It has been a little over three months since Parker has passed away. It has been full of sadness and grief; even as I write this I have tears streaming down my face because of how acutely I feel his loss.

Yet in a strange way, this feeling loss can be a blessing. To me it is a witness of my love for him.  I never quite realized how much I loved Parker. We would always say, "I love you" when one of us would leave the house or at the end of our telephone calls, and I knew I meant it. I just did not realize how much. I had never quite realized the depth of love.

I have come to realize that love is deeply rooted within your soul. It runs through your veins and wraps itself around your heart. A physical manifestation of your love is how it blossoms into words and actions. When tenderly cultivated, love turns into something very beautiful; one could even say a work of art. Yet when that person whom you love is gone, there is no use for the flowers anymore. Some tenderly fall, like the tears upon your cheeks. Most are blown away by the bitterness of loss. Loss is the harshest wind of all. As it howls through the branches, it agitates your entire being. It rents your heart into jagged, uneven pieces, and your soul is disturbed. You know you will never be the same. That moment is when you realize the depth of love. The wind is constantly blowing. You do not know if it will ever stop. It probably will not. However even though your love does not blossom anymore, you still can recognize the beauty of what remains, and treasure the memories of the time when it was filled with flowers.




 
I find great comfort in the following verse and I know that this promise is true. What a blessing to have this knowledge in our lives.
Behold, I am the alaw, and the blight. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall clive; for unto him that dendureth to the end will I give eternal life. --3 Nephi 15: 9

I hope you all have a great Sunday.

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1 comments

  1. I can't pretend to know how you feel but I will remember you in my prayers and pray that the Lord will soften the heartache, the loss, and His promise that you will be together again will bring you much comfort.

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